I think this is hilarious…
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, attacks his dog and then bites the Governor.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi”. He then realizes the coyote is only doing what is natural and may have been traumatized as a pup.
2. He calls Animal Control which responds and captures the coyote. The State is billed $250 testing the coyote for diseases and $900 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dog’s carcass and bills the State $250 for mandated disease testing and $100 for disposal.
4. The Governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for possible diseases and getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness” program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. With a strong union behind him, the security agent is able to collect a state pension at 90% of his previous wage and is entitled to free health care for life
9. Additional cost to State of California:
— $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training on the nature of coyotes.
— PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol saving her dog, and keeps on jogging. The Governor has spent 50¢ on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
3. All is well, and life goes on smoothly.
And that’s why California is broke.